I’ve been hearing good things about ABC’s new show Don’t Trust The B—- In Apt 23 so I decided to watch it last night. I expected it to be funny–and it was. But I didn’t expect to see an all too familiar hair issue depicted so hilariously in a scene involving a black male character with an Afro. The episode is worth watching for that moment alone.
In the scene, one of the main characters, June, brings her friend and fellow coffee shop employee, Mark, with her to the Korean church she’s been attending. After the service, June and Mark hang around to talk with the pastor. A few minutes later, June leaves and Pastor Jin says to Mark: “Can I touch your hair? You look like Obama.”
To which Mark replies: “Uhhhh…I have to go the bathroom.” And abruptly walks away. I cracked up.
When this happens in real life, it’s frustrating and offensive. But when it’s portrayed in a tongue-in-cheek way on a sitcom, you have to admit, it’s pretty funny. I would love to know whose idea it was to include that dialogue in the script–was it the writers or the actor, Eric André, who is also a comedian? Either way, it was spot on.
Black women (and I guess men, too!) with Afros and locs have to put up with random requests like Pastor Jin’s from strangers all the time. It’s maddening. This subject came up at a panel discussion about black beauty that I went to on Sunday. One attendee with big, curly hair spoke about how awkward it can be trying to figure out out how to respond in those situations. You could avoid it altogether like Mark did or you could be blunt like Thembi Ford, who wrote an essay for Clutch Magazine in March called “No, You May Not Touch My Hair. No, I Do Not Feel Guilty About It.”
At the event, a fashion designer on the panel suggested someone make a t-shirt that says “Don’t Touch My Hair!” I could have used a shirt like that when I was a child. I endured a lot of unwelcome hair-touching because I was too young to know how to deal. (You can read about what I went through here.) No one has tried to pet my hair in years, but I just got braids, so who knows. Maybe I should brace myself for the inevitable.
Has anyone ever asked you if they could touch your hair? What did you say? How did you feel? Has this ever happened to someone you know? Go ahead, blab in the comments section below.